So it Shall be Written ... So it Shall be Done

I've spent years, countless years, lamenting to anyone and everyone who would listen (or feign listening) about how I should've pursued my dreams and become an actress. I'm not speaking about the "I'm semi-sorta good looking + people tell me I should be on TV!" or the wet-dream some people have for LA/Hollywood. No, I wanted to be a stage actress, musical theater, in fact. Only I didn't realize how demoralizing and utterly discouraging the audition process would be and so, after having landed most roles I ever auditioned for in regional theatre and um USDAN (oy!), and then realizing I couldn't even get a call-back - I doubted myself and thus...I gave up. At age 18.

It's been over ten years since then and I although I often wax poetic about my days on the stage, I think I would have ultimately burned out from that lifestyle quickly, even if I did "make it".

Writing, however, is something entirely different.

In 2002, when my mom was packing up our childhood home to (finally) move, she started packing up my old bedroom. She noted how many notebooks, legal pads, printer paper and journals I had kept. When I finally came over to pick up my things, it then hit me: I apparently had a lot to say. For those who know me, this is nothing new. I often fill dead space with words...a nervous habit I developed at an young age. I've been faulted far more times than I wish to count for commandeering conversations; especially if it's a topic I am passionate about. But one thing has remained constant: I want to be heard.

Call it vanity, call it insecurity, call it my longing for the stage once more -but I want you to hear me. You don't have to agree, hell, you may be the Helen Keller of conversationalists, I don't care. Just hear me out.

Now, will I always have some valid point or an opinion truly worth expressing filter through on a blog? Who knows. But my incessant ramblings, my musings - they need a home. Because, honestly, Facebook is lame. There, in the world of fake friends, HS assholes, exes who have babies + a home in Maryland on a lake and distant twice-removed cousins - my opinions are but simply "Alanna Bitching" and honestly, no one wants their "feeds" jogged up with my nonsense. But you do, otherwise why else would you be reading this?

I would like to think that my writing displayed here is not like my experience with NYC auditions - I'm not figuratively tap-dancing next to better talent. It's just me. It's safe. The only demoralization I face is in my own hands - whatever I place on the blog here. Fair enough. I'm not waiting on a call-back

So I figured the title of this post was most fitting - especially on the eve of the most HOLY PASSOVER (leave out your empty cup! The prophet is a comin'!) a quote from the character Ramses II, played by Yul Brenner in The Ten Commandments:

"So it shall be written, so it shall be done!" Finally. It shall be done.

Welcome aboard, hope you enjoy it.

ETA: Very special thanks to my father Barry, my brother Adam, Katharine - my rock of without I would not who I am today, Jenna - for all our hours long discussions about everything+ anything and Chez (http://www.deusexmalcontent.com/) who's writing is simply beyond description, for the inspiration to start expressing myself once again.
You guys rock.